Sunday, February 6, 2011

2 bulan menyepi...

yeah, i know. It's been two months now....without any entry, without any updates on Aqeef's development, and not a single updates on my second pregnancy. Yeah, i know.

The truth is, i was faced with roller-coasters of emotions, with plenty of incidents that forced me to think ahead of my future, and what should i do about it.

It is a very very difficult time for me & our dear baby...unconsciously, this baby will face the impact of my depression...i just pray to Allah the Almighty to save this baby, and let him/her be strong enough, to face this challenging journey together with me...

For the 3 special persons that have been guiding me through these difficult times - Mrs. D, Mrs. I & Mrs. Z...you know who you are..and i thank all of you soo much for being there for me, for listening, for the helps, the concerns, the non-stop advice that i received from all of you...words cannot describe how much i value & treasure it...

For that somebody who i must say, the person who is responsible for my misery, please bear in your mind, that i am a strong woman. I may look fragile on the outside, i may look like somebody that you can easily break, but you don't know me well enough to know how tough i can be....

i have been in and out of misery from early 2010....and early 2011, it's been exactly a year i'm in this condition. And i am proud to say that i have made up my mind, and i guess nobody can change it..only Allah....i just pray that my decision will turn out to be as i expected. If it turns out to be the other way round, i just pray to Allah to toughen my heart, and accept it as it is...

Dear Hubby, i will always love you, no matter what.
Dear Aqeef, you are the most valuable present in my life, & i love you with all my heart, my dear son.
Dear Baby, you are also the gift from Allah to me, for me to treasure & love unconditionally.

"Mengharap mendung berarak pergi dan sinar mentari menyinari hidupku nanti, InsyaAllah.."

and "InsyaAllah, i'll find the way"

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