DISCLAIMER: Entry kali ni sgt merapu, berbelit2, penuh dgn emosi yg tabes. Hopefully korg tak bace entry ni & rasa depressed macam apa yg ai rasa skrg ni.
OK. Fuhhh....tarik nafas dlm2....
Ai tak suka perasaan tabes ni....sbb die suke dtg dgn tiba2...when i didn't least expected it..menyampah!!!! :(
nk dijadikan cerita, tadi time lunch ai gi la beratur nk kuarkan duit kt CIMB bank, KLCC...org ramai so i have to queue panjang jugak la...so in front of me, ade la sorg minah ni, pakai baju kurung moden kaler merah dgn tudung kaler putih...
everything was ok, bila tiba2 budak tu turned around, and tanye ai, mcm mana nk tambah limit utk withdrawal...i was ok at first, tp bila ai tgk muka dia, & ai ternampak her tag & her name, ai trus rasa berdebar2, & rasa tabes itu mula dtg slowly...
turns out, budak tu adalah budak junior ai kt UKM, & my junior as well kt the big P...sgt comey budaknya..sweet je..kurus, tinggi, & sexy effortlessly....& budak tu, without her knowledge, selalu buat ai menangis sorg2 & penah rasa mcm nk b****d*** masa phase depression ai dulu..
& wpn rasa tabes tu makin menebal dlm diri ni...ai layan jugak pertanyaan dia, & ai siap kasi suggestion kt dia, suh die bukak CIMB clicks, wpn ai sendiri pn tade CIMB clicks...& after she made her withdrawal, before she leaves the ATM, dia sempat toleh kat ai, & senyum kat ai...ai balas blk senyuman dia, dgn hati yg rasa sgt berat, sgt tabes, & rasa sedih tu dtg blk....
yes, maybe most of you tak faham ape yg ai ceritakan ni...but it's what i feel...up to now, to be honest...
she's a sweet & innocent girl...ai je yg emo lebih kot...
tp tak mudah utk ai lupakan kesedihan yg penah ai rasa dulu....rasa sakit tu ada lagi...deep down inside...as much as i tried to suppressed it, looks like everytime ai nampak budak tu kt ofis, i will have this tingling feelings again & again & again....
nobody to blame but me.
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